Silent Scream
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Growing old is Mandatory,
Growing up is Optional.
I don’t want to be home anymore.
I don’t want to live here, I’m fucking sick of it.
My mom is being an absolute cunt, she can’t have a decent fucking conversation with me without bring up jobs. FUCK OFF. you don’t know how hard I have been looking, you should be fucking happy that I am getting money from DAL and not asking for money off you. I haven’t asked you for money since year 12.
I have lived 3 years on my OWN money without your help you can shut the fuck up about jobs because I’m trying and I’m sick of it.
You know what else doesn’t help that you won’t fucking let me drive, you want me to get a job? I got a call back the other month from one and as soon as they asked if I drive and I said no they said that I couldn’t go for the position. Maybe if you let me fucking drive the car to finish my 40ish hours I have been stuck on for over a year because and I quote you’re “too scared” to let me practice. I got that far into the 120 hours and you just stop
So shut the fuck up. I’m sick of it, don’t you get it! Why do you think I try not to be home half the time, because of you and your job this job that. I can’t take it.
We don’t look anything alike but she have birth to me. #mom #mommy #family #mothersday (Taken with instagram)
Happy #Mothers #Day. Hope you enjoy your early morning city walk whilst I sleep in my warm bed. I love you #mom. #family (Taken with instagram)
#flashbackfriday #halloween #2008 with my #sister Lauren. #family (Taken with instagram)
#flashbackfriday #family #halloween #2008 (Taken with instagram)
#photoadayapril #day #nine #younger you. #family (Taken with instagram)
My baby #vicki. #dog #pomeranian #family (Taken with instagram)
The rat #millee. #dog #pomeranian #family (Taken with instagram)
MOTHER FUCKING FUCK FUCK
I just smashed my leg on the corner of my bed… I haven’t done it in a while and this time it hurts way more OWWW it’s already bruised up.
My sister dropped me off at one end of brunswick street, and I walked all the way down to the other end for my eye appointment, they put drops in my eyes that stang and everything was blurry for a few hours, it’s a bit better now.
They shone light into my eye for almost an hour. He said he won’t cut into it because at the moment it’s not inflamed and if I just keep bathing it it’ll be okay, and he doesn’t want to because it will leave a scar.
First I saw this chick who mentioned my pupils where different sizes. I brought it up to the doctor and he said she had written it down so he looked, and said I could either be born with it or it could have something to do with my nervous system?
I had to make another appointment for 6 months, so he could check up on it and see if it’s anything serious.
I then walked to parliament but was kinda stupid and didn’t know where the entry to the station was aha so I then walked around the city aimlessely not knowing where I was going til I found flinders street.
Mom had just finished work and said she was going to see our new baby cousin Max, so I trained it to my cousins only to find out he had to go back into hospital for some tests. He was born with a valve to his heart closed, so he had to go in for an operation, then something else in his body closed poor guy :(
Now i’m in bed, I want to nap then I need to get ready and hopefully mom will drop me off at Tracys before they leave for Thornton. Then Tracy and I are going to Hollies 20th :) we are having pre drinks at Hollies then going to some club called Persaverance? which I’ve never been to before. so hmm
I’ve been applying for Jobs again all morning, and last night
One of the jobs I applied for this morning called me back just then, he was telling me about it and what I’d have to do then asking me questions, he got to the question ‘do you have a car/ are you able to drive’, I said no, of course because i’m still a learner and he begins to say ‘sorry’ and that it’s a ‘major role’ in the ADMIN job that I applied for.
I really need to get my hours up, and get a car. I need a job to pay for a car, also to pay for driving lessons seeing as they cost more than they used to. I just wish mom would let me drive, she used!! until she found out i’m not insured on the car, I even offered to pay her to insure me on the car, but no.
My emotions are all over the place, as usual.. mom woke me up early this morning so I could start looking for jobs, (she doesn’t believe me that I have been applying) even though there are around 900 msgs in my hotmail confirming I have been applying. She then came in and told me to get up and get ready because I have to go to centerlink.. I don’t want to go to centerlink, I have been to centerlink before and they have done shit, just like Break Thru. My mom then came in and told me that my dad told her to ‘grab me out of bed by the hair’ she then went on to say that I’m in trouble when dad gets home.
I don’t want to be home, I am scared
and she wonders why i’m never home.
because you’re a bitch
not even 5 mins into being in the car with her and she’s hasseling about jobs..
I HAVE BEEN TRYING SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT’
I don’t like being home, I fucking apply and apply and apply for jobs and thats the ONLY conversation you can have with me
as soon as I bring something else up you start back on it I fucking hate it.
I can’t look at you, and when I have to talk to you I have to hold myself back from screaming at you.
good vibes 2011
at my godsons christening :)
happy drunk new year.
I remember Tracy got picked up, and Shane was passed out in the lounge room.
I went to bed and cried cause I didn’t get any new years txts ha hm
Dan had just got back from Scotland so we decided to have shots in his new glasses.
Mom, Dad, Lauren, Dan, Kristian and I all did jager shots, we also had american honey shots, vodka shots and some really gross whiskey.
Mind you this was at like 10 - 11 am.
